TRAVEL | DOHAnuts....Is There Anything They Can't Do?

A recent survey taken at Melbourne's Tullamarine Airport reveals that 0 in 3 Australians know where Doha is.

You would think that I know where Doha is. And you would've thought that given I was flying there, maybe it was prudent to find out.

Well at least that's what I was thinking as I stood at the top of the queue at BORDER PROTECTION expecting to hear A LOUD VOICEOVER from CH 7's BORDER SECURITY.

"We watched this guy fidget nervously. Find out after the break why he became the object of a strip search"....or words to that effect.

Post 9-11 why would anyone look forward to facing customs and not having their departure card COMPLETED CORRECTLY!!?? (said the voiceover).

So I told the CUSTOMS OFFICER I had to 'fess up.

She looked at me cross-eyed, scrunched up her face and turned to her colleague....

"Hey - this guy doesn't know where Doha is".

RED ALERT RED ALERT. Gates dropped a la Get Smart pinning me to the ground in a perspex jail cell a la X-Men.

"Do you know where Doha is?"

Her colleague looked at me cross-eyed, scrunched up his face and shrugged.

She turned back to me and passed the departure card through a slit in the perspex wall.

"Just put Doha".

"mmm nnnn cfffnnnn thhhhee mmmmnnff ffnnnn?" I asked from behind the gag over my mouth, praying that the Dobermann's had already been fed.

She turned back to her colleague.

"He wants to know if he can he write 'Doha, Qatar'?"

The bloke nodded.

Using infra-red user pen driver device, I completed the card, the perspex cell disappeared and the gates flew back into the ceiling.

"BORDER PROTECTION" is labelled quite clearly on the sign in front of the row of customs officers desk. Oh - ok if it's on dry land at Melbourne Airport, no wonder the asylum seekers boats don't make it to the border.

I reckon Gerry summed it up best: "Doha? Sounds like a place Homer Simpson would visit!".

mmmmmmMMMMM ..... Dohanuts. Is there anything they can't do?